Mourning Dove
by xoJaymexo
Summary: At Rose's graduation, Dimitri shows up. Three choices, two lovers, one silver stake. And in the end, neither will be as they thought they would.


**Edited 5.17.10 to fix A/N. This is _complete_.**

It was here. My graduation. The day I would become the guardian I had trained my whole life to be. Novice Hathaway would be gone, erased by the ink on my neck, and Guardian Hathaway would replace her.

Yet, even as I asked myself why I wasn't feeling as I had always thought I should—happy, nostalgic, excited—I knew the answer.

Dimitri.

He should have been here, should have been watching me with pride in his eyes. He should have been the one to congratulate me, to tell me he always knew I could do it and that he never had a doubt. Dimitri should have been touching me, showing me exactly how he felt without a word, just as he always had. He should have been the person who held my hand while I got my Promise Mark, not my mom.

And it hurt so much that he wasn't here.

I shook my head, willing away the tears that, despite what Adrian or Lissa or anyone else did, wouldn't go away. They always seemed to be there, and always seemed to be brought back with a movement, or a fight that reminded me of him. I had burst out sobbing in the middle of class more often than I wanted to admit.

The novices knew where I had gone, and what I had done…but they didn't understand. They thought it was just because he had been my mentor and friend, and they had no clue I loved him. Even if they thought that, they convinced themselves he didn't love me back. I didn't try to persuade them otherwise.

"Castile, Eddie!" Eddie, up in the C section, got up and walked steadily towards the front, where they were handing out the official Guardian diploma. My class had gotten their tattoos yesterday, and my neck was still a bit itchy. I resisted the urge to scratch it.

My thoughts, as they always did when I wasn't keeping myself busy, turned back to Dimitri. I knew he would try something today. I knew he would, just like he knew I would be ready.

I took a deep breath. The last "I" had been called and it was my turn next.

"Hathaway, Rosemarie!" I took a deep breath, and stood up. This was nothing. I had seen the man I loved become the monster I always fought against. My stomach was turning over, and my hands were shaking. _It's nothing to be afraid of,_ I told myself reassuringly.

"Rose?" The announcer was looking over the podium, searching for me. I blinked, forcing back the sobs that were keeping me from moving, and began the slow walk up to the stage. Up to my future.

The Guardian who was handing out our diplomas (I thought it was Alberta, but I couldn't see easily through my tears. She had short black hair, though, which made me think it was she) looked at me, and when she spoke, I could hear the concern lacing it. "Rose, are you okay?"

I forced a smile. "Yes, Guardian," I murmured, my head down. There was no need for her to see my crying. "Just in shock."

She gave me a tight smile. "We all are," she admitted. "It's weird not to have him here for us, too."

I looked at her, surprised. "Yes." I said simply, moving on to shake Headmistress Kirova's (who had been reinstated, with accolades, to the Head position shortly before I returned) hand. "Thank you for everything," I told her.

Kirova smiled at me. "It was a pleasure having you in my schoo—"

She was cut off when the doors burst open. I shielded my eyes from the explosion, automatically searching for Lissia with the bond. She was terrified, and there was something…I couldn't get a grasp on what it was.

Behind me, I felt Kirova slip a silver stake into my hand. It's what I would have gotten after she had finished her sentence and announced me, but there was no time for formalities. Something had gotten inside, and I had a sinking suspicion I knew what.

Strigoi.

"Nobody move!" I froze where I was, about to move into the turbulent crowd to find Lissa. It wasn't because of the order, though. It was because of who said it. Dimitri. _My_ Dimitri.

Except he wasn't. Because when the crowd ceased to move, I could see him, in the center of the circle, holding Lissa to him, a knife to her throat. Her eyes were wide, scared, but I could tell that she thought I would save her. I hoped, as I always did, that I could live up to that amount of trust.

None of the guardians were moving. They couldn't. He and his army obviously wasn't hurting anyone, but they knew that if even one of them attempted to attack, the Strigoi would kill everyone. They had nothing to hold them back, except Dimitri.

It was a stalemate, and I could easily see that something had to be done. And just as easily, I knew what I had to do. Slipping the stake into one of my jacket pockets, I stepped forward. "Dimitri." My voice carried, and I was proud of how even it was when all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and weep.

His head turned towards me. "Hello again, Rose," he said. His voice was cold, but I, who had lived with him for days, could tell that there was emotion there that he was trying to suppress. "Long time no see."

By this point, the entire room was silent; I could have heard a pin drop. The breathing of everyone was muted, as though they were trying to listen in, and couldn't hear, so stopped breathing. They needn't have worried, though. We were speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear.

I began walking towards him. "Yes," I agreed. "But then, I thought I had killed you. I'm sure it is forgivable for me to be gone for so long."

I heard a large intake a breath, and looked behind me for a brief second, before realizing it was everyone in the room. I felt no sorrow now that they knew where I had been and what I had done. I felt nothing, not even worry for Lissa. I knew she would be fine. I knew I wouldn't be. It didn't even matter.

He arched an eyebrow. "Is that so?" He mused, never loosening his grip on Lissa. "Well, I suppose I could forgive you. But only just this once."

I smiled tightly. "Why, thank you comrade."

Dimitri's eyes flashed. "Don't call me that, Roza," he warned through gritted teeth. "I'm not your comrade."

"No," I agreed lightly, "But you were, once. I'm trying to see how much of my Dimitri is still in there."

There was another gasp, this time quieter than the rest, as the smarter people, and those who know me, figured it all out. And if someone didn't understand, they leaned over and murmured it to them, so that the entire room was filled with the rustling sound of whispers.

He narrowed his eyes, studying my face, looking for any hint that I was joking. It wasn't there; I wasn't joking, not even a little bit. But now I had my answer, and that was all I needed.

He wasn't in there. Not even a little bit. No matter how hard I would try to convince myself he was, he wasn't. My Dimitri had died in the rescue attempt, and there was no getting him back. I knew that now. And this time, I wasn't going to hesitate.

"What do you want, Dimitri?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

He raised both his eyebrows this time, mockingly smiling. "You," was his simple answer and I nodded. I had expected that.

"So…" I drawled, "If I come with you, you will let Lissa go, and take the rest of _them_," I infused enough venom into my voice that there was no doubt as to who I was referring to, "And leave?"

"If you come as well, Roza," He said. "Of your own will. I'm not fighting you anymore."

I gulped. The room around me was silent. I think they had even stopped their own heartbeats just to listen. Nosy, but I couldn't blame them. I would have done the same thing, if I were in their case. My eyes flicked over to Eddie, who was with the newly-graduated guardians. His eyes were wide and pleading, and I knew he was hoping I wouldn't do it.

My mom looked solemn. I didn't know what she was thinking, but it was probably her hoping that it would all turn out for the best—that no one would be killed, and she wouldn't have to lose me again. It wouldn't happen, but she was holding out hope.

Adrian was behind Christian, and I hoped that both of them got my message. _I'm sorry_. I would never have been able to keep my promise to Adrian, and Christian I had grown close to. It would hurt to leave them, but there was nothing for it. I will keep my promise to Lissa, and the one to Dimitri if it was the last thing I do. And it probably will be.

Then, finishing the internal goodbyes, I hardened myself. Looking straight at Dimitri, I told him, "Deal."

There was an outburst of cries around the hall. Lissa's was the loudest. "Rose, no, don't you dare! You promised me, you promised you would stay safe!"

I looked at her coldly, and she fell silent. "This is keeping you safe," I told her, suddenly aware of how everyone else had quieted when I began to speak. I didn't like it, but I understood. There was nothing they could do—they were helpless. The guardians were outnumbered by the Strigoi at least three to one, and no one, no matter how desperate, would take those odds. Even I wouldn't have.

"Stop, Rose!" This time it was Adrian who called my name. I didn't stop, and worked my way to Dimitri. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, though, because everyone made an opening for me. "Rose!" I ignored the pain in his voice, and he tried again. "You promised, Rose. You promised me."

At that, I stopped. "It was a lie," I said, surprised by how cold my voice was. "I would never have been able to give you a chance."

He shook his head. "No, no it wasn't. You were telling the truth—you wanted to get over him." At this, Dimitri's head snapped around to me.

I smiled at him, and then turned to look at Adrian. "It was a lie," I repeated. "I feel nothing for you, and I never did. I always wanted him, and it was never going to be you. You would always be second-best, and you would never come first."

I saw his eyes widen in hurt, but I pushed away the feeling of regret and guilt. This was for his good. If he could hate me, it would be easier for him.

I looked back at Dimitri. "It was always you," I told him.

He smiled a long, slow smile that had more evil than happiness. "I know," he told me. Then he held out his hand.

I took it, and he let Lissa go, shoving her away to the wall of people. That wasn't Dimitri. It wasn't Dimitri. This monster wasn't Dimitri. Maybe if I repeat it enough times, I would believe it.

He began to lead towards the door, and then stopped, looking at me. "Say your goodbyes, Rose," he told me.

I nodded, turning to look at everyone. They were silent, just staring at me. I don't think they had ever seen anything like it before. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking slightly. No one moved. They were in shock.

I had always been Rose Hathaway, the Queen Bitch and best friend you could have. Attached to the last Dragomir princess. Best in her class. Runaway. Fighter. Smart-ass. Bitch. Friend.

They had never seen me like this, broken by the man I should never have let in. They hadn't thought I loved him, and I knew now that if we had been careful, we would have gotten away with it. They hadn't known, and I forgave them from that.

Even Lissa, my Lissa, who should know everything about me, didn't know. But it was okay. It would all be okay.

I turned back to Dimitri. He was watching me, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. More evidence that this wasn't him. He would never have looked like that before. Dimitri had never been proud.

But this wasn't the time to think about any of that. Now, now was the time to start my plan. Now was the time for it to begin—the first day of the rest of my life.

I reached up, grabbing his face, and bringing it down to me, kissing him. His lips on mine were soft, but cold. They moved fiercely with mine, battling for the dominance both of us had. It almost distracted me from my plan.

I moved my hand behind me, as if to scratch my back, but kept kissing him. My stake was…right there. I had it. Then I heard it.

"Roza…" he murmured against my lips. I faltered in my movements, but never stopped the kiss.

"Dimitri," I said back, just as softly. "Dimitri, I…" He pulled away slightly so he could look at me. If I looked past the red ring in his eyes and the paleness of his skin, I could almost believe it was him, as he was before, that night in the cabin.

"Yes?" He asked, frowning slightly. He still hadn't figured out that anything was wrong.

That was when I moved.

In one swift motion, I pushed him back, then pulled my arm and stake up and around, in an arc, into his heart. It was a solid hit, and I watched him stagger back, begin to fall.

I can't explain why I did next what I did. Maybe it was watching Dimitri, strong and always there Dimitri fall. Maybe it was just some instinct left over.

I caught him, and lowered him gently to the ground. He was having trouble breathing, but the red ring was gone now. "Roza…" he said again. "I…" He coughed a sickly, wet cough. The people around us rushed forward, but I glared at them, and they moved back.

"I know," I told him. "I know."

He smiled at me. "Another life…"

I nodded. "Always."

"I love you," he said, and then passed on, his face becoming still, and his eyes merely shutters. I laid my head down on his chest, breathed in his scent that had never truly gone away. Then I stood up, bending over one more time to kiss his still-warm lips. I pulled the stake out of his heart, not bothering to wipe it off.

I turned to face the crowd, my voice still carrying easily. They were silent, and listened as I had only ever seen them do a few times. "Dimitri Belikov was a good man," I told them. "He didn't deserve this fate. Do not remember him as this evil. Instead, remember him as he was when he died—kind, caring, and honorable. Remember the man who would have given himself for all of you," I hesitated, "and remember the woman who loved him."

That was when they began to move, but it was already too late. I had already stabbed the silver stake into my own heart, where his blood mixed with mine, like it always had. I fell backwards, collapsing more than falling. The crowd of people, the people I loved, rushed in around me.

My vision blurred, turning grey then black, then back to normal. The area where my heart had been pierced was the cold epicenter of a shockwave that had traveled through my body.

"Rose…" a voice sobbed above me.

"Rose, come on, don't do this! Don't you dare, Rose, you promised!"

Someone reached for my heart, where the silver stake still protruded from myself. I stopped them. The instant I moved, all talking stopped, but I paid them no attention.

"Lissa…"I rasped. "Let me go. Please."

She shook her head, and I felt some of her tears fall on my face. "No!" She said defiantly. "I'm not letting you go, Rosemarie. You are mine, and this is not how you will die!"

I chuckled gravely. "You want me to die defending you, instead?" I asked. A sharp intake of breath was her only answer. "Liss…" I sighed. "Lissa, if you love me, let me go. Please." It was getting harder and harder to talk.

I blinked hard, searching for her. Her pale blond hair and skin, coupled with her jade green eyes, made her look like an angel. I reached for her shoulder, but she drew back. I nodded, smiling softly. "Love you, Liss…" I murmured. "Always…Always have, always will." There were black dots all around me. "All of you…love you…"

And then I slipped away.

* * *

**Right, so, to all of my Dark of the Moon readers, I promise I will get something up...eventually. Maybe an interlude or something. I'm having pretty severe writer's block...and this is even assuming you guys read this, which you probably won't... Anyway. To you guys who read this: It's my first VA fanfiction, I don't like flamers, and I love feedback. And Dimitri. This is complete..haha, sorry, but I'm not making this any longer, or into a novel/novella, and that's what it wants. Not happening, Dove! *spots audience* ... heh?**

**Jayme.**


End file.
